What If I Don't Love Myself?

#AskAPastor

• 15th Sunday After Pentecost

with Luke 6:31, Psalm 139, Ephesians 4:1-7

www.FirstChurchBville.com   @FirstUMCBville   @kerrfunk

(aside: click here to watch the piano duet Trina and I played today) 

• #AskAPastor: “I want to hear you preach on the idea that we're called to treat others as we wish to be treated but so many of us have low self-worth and so maybe we should treat others as we deserve to be treated not as we would treat ourselves.”

• A story about the Golden Rule: There was a monkey who practiced the GR, but he was occasionally foolish. There was a flood, and he climbed up a tree for safety. He saw a fish, and thought “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” so he ‘rescued’ the fish, bringing it into the tree with him.

Professor of logic and ethics Harry Gensler imagines the same scenario with another monkey named KITA. Kita sees the fish and Knows that it will die out of water. Kita tries to Imagine what it would be like to be a fish in the water and out. Kita asks herself if she were a fish would she want someone to save her in this situation by removing her from the water. Kita Acts on her process and does not remove the fish. (Know, Imagine, Test, Act). (source)

So the GR should be applied with consideration, as the opening question: treat others as you deserve to be treated, or how you would wish/hope/allow to be treated in similar circumstances.

• But I want to address the low self-worth aspect.

• Several years ago there was a Dove Real Beauty Campaign “experiment.” (click here to watch the video) Subjects described themselves to a sketch artist. Subjects described a stranger they’d met to the sketch artist. Every self description was kind of self-deprecating, and every stranger description was not only beautiful, it was more accurate. Market research indicated 4% of women described themselves as beautiful, and most are most self-critical.

Where does low self image come from?
Could be abuse, neglect, could be bullying.
Wherever it comes from, we tend to believe the negative and reinforce it ourselves.

There’s also a thing called “negative bias.” We focus more on negative input than positive. We ruminate on negative, and it therefore is ‘weighted’ heavier. “Bad emotions, bad parents, and bad feedback have more impact than good ones. Bad impressions and stereotypes are quicker to form and more resistant to disconfirmation than good ones.”
(source: NYT / Alina Tugend / 3/24/2012)

Why is there negative bias? Well, if we are familiar with negative situations we can avoid negative them for survival…

Negative events are weighted twice that of positive.
A setback is 3x more frustrating than a “progress” can counter.

• Max Lucado has a story of a wooden people called “Wemmicks” and their social interactions. The story is called “You Are Special” and you can read it here as well. 

“You are mine. That’s why you matter.”

• Psalm 139 you (yes, you!) are fearfully and wonderfully made.

• Ephesians 4:1-7 We all are fearfully and wonderfully made. Conduct yourselves with humility, gentleness, patience, love. Preserve the unity that ties you together. You are one. Y’all are one.

• One more thing about the Golden Rule and negative bias: It’s important to steel yourself against the negative onslaught with much intentional positive input.
Worship, song, scripture, prayer, community. Much more than the negative.

• Hymn 560 Help Us Accept Each Other

         

Luke 6:27-31    (The Voice)

27 “If you’re listening, here’s My message: Keep loving your enemies no matter what they do. Keep doing good to those who hate you. 28 Keep speaking blessings on those who curse you. Keep praying for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, offer the other cheek too. If someone steals your coat, offer him your shirt too. 30 If someone begs from you, give to him. If someone robs you of your valuables, don’t demand them back. 31 Think of the kindness you wish others would show you; do the same for them.” X

Ephesians 4:1-7        (CEB)

4 Therefore, as a prisoner for the Lord, I encourage you to live as people worthy of the call you received from God. 2 Conduct yourselves with all humility, gentleness, and patience. Accept each other with love, 3 and make an effort to preserve the unity of the Spirit with the peace that ties you together. 4 You are one body and one spirit, just as God also called you in one hope. 5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 and one God and Father of all, who is over all, through all, and in all.

7 God has given his grace to each one of us measured out by the gift that is given by Christ. X